Google's 5 sure-fire steps to safer indexing

Are you wondering why Gray Hat Search Engine News (GHN) is so quiet recently? One reason may be that I've borrowed their Google savvy spy. I've sent him to Mountain View again to learn more about Google's nofollow strategy.

He returned with a copy of Google's recently revised mission statement, discovered in the wastebasket of a conference room near office 211 in building 43. Read the shocking and unbelievable head note printed in bold letters:

Google's mission is to condomize the world's information and make it universally uncrawlable and useless.

Read and reread it, then some weird facts begin to make sense. Now you'll understand why:

1. The rel-nofollow plague was designed to maximize collateral damage by devaluing all hyperlinked votes by honest users of nearly all platforms you're using everyday, for example Twitter, Wikipedia, corporate blogs, GoogleGroups ... ostensibly to nullify the efforts of a few spammers.
2. Nobody bothers to comment on your nofollow'ed blog.
3. Google invented the supplemental index (to store scraped resources suffering from too many condomized links) and why it grows faster than the main index.
4. Google installed the Bigdaddy infrastructure (to prevent Ms. Googlebot from following nofollow'ed links).
5. Google switched to BlitzCrawling (to list timely contents for a moment whilst fat resources from large archives get buried in the supplemental index). RIP deep crawler and freshbot.

Seriously, the deep crawler isn't defunct, it's called supplemental crawler nowadays, and the freshbot is still alive as Feedfetcher.

Disclaimer: All these hard facts were gathered by torturing sources close to Google, robbery and other unfair methods. If anyone bothers to debunk all that as bad joke, one question still remains: Why does Google next to nothing to stop the nofollow plague? I mean, ongoing mass abuse of rel-nofollow is obviously counterproductive with regard to their real mission.

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